Jokes Collection

1.
Husband ek rat kagaj mein likh kar rakha 7 am par mujhe jara dak dena
Wife woh dekh kar likha: already 7am. Baj gaya.
2.
Swami: basar rat mein uski wife ko 100 rs. De kar sorry bola, mujhe bhul ho gaye, sab samay deta hu to habit ho gaya.
Patni: tum to mujhko rupee de rahe ho, mein to mere cousin ko free dia.

3.
Relation ki 6 month bad ladki ne ladka se kaha
Wife: mein pregnant ho gaye.
Pati: meine kaha tha tum upor mein raho aur mein nich me,agar us tarah rehta to
Pregnant nahi hota.
4.
Ek din ek busstand me vul kar yatri log gaitlok samajh kar
Local gari me uth gaya, gari to rukh rukh kar jata hay
Yatri:keya hua bhai gari to rukh rukh kar jata hay kiu?
Helper: yeh to local hai..
Yatri: local aur gatelock yeh to tum log dega us lie yatri log samassa mein parega kiun?

5.
Patni:meine Babaki ghar mein kitni sukhi tha,tumare ghar a kar meri jiban ses ho gaya.
Pati: keyaa hua?
Patni:keyaa nahi hua? Tumhre pas meine ek diamond ki neckless chaha magar tumhare iss month par pocket khali…

6.
Patni:tumhare paas koi arman pesh kar gaya to tum bola paysa nahi hai.
Pati:keyaa nahi di tumko? To jo tumko dena parega uski paas jao na.

7.
Pati:mehman ko khana dia magar chamach kiu nahi dia?
Patni:voi paa karke.
Pati:kasko voi pa kar.
Patni:usko chamach hai ye jodi samajh jayee iss lyee.

8.
Bibi ke bare mein tin log baat kar rahe hai…
1st:mere Tania ko to koi tulna nahi hai. Chay khane ke waqt cup vang gaya aur wo aysee atha dia laga dya ki ekbare nayee ki tarah ho gaya.
2nd:mere pant ekbar pant chir gaya tha aur mere bibi itne sundar se selai kar dia meine to samajh hi nahi paya wo chir gya tha.
3rd:mere Luba mere shirt dhoya tha aur dekho samajh hi nahi pa raha ho ki ye dhoya gaya tha.
9.
Pati:kaha ja rahe ho?
Patni: Jahannam par.
Pati: Thank you,jao.
10.
Bibi:jiban par maine koi punno kia tha us liee tumhare tarah pati mila.
Swami:aur mere liee wo paap ki sasti hai
11.
Bibi:kyeaa hua tumko aj bohot khus najar a raha hai?
Pappu:nahi kuch nahi. Tum bahar ja rahe ho iss lyee
Bibi: uss lyee tumhare khus hone se kyeaa irada hai.
Pappu: meri ek dawat hai meine vi uha jaunga. Tum agar bahar jaoge tab maine bahar jane parunga na!!!