Jokes Collection

1.
Teacher: kela 1 Rs. Hole 15 Rs. Me kitni hali kela paoge tum?
Student: 1 Rs. Hali kela? Apki ass mein dhuka denge.
2.
Teacher: kabhi poschim side me presab math kaarna.
Ek din ek choti ladky poschim side me presab kar rahi hai, tab teacher uske pice mara
Aur kaha kiun tum us tarah presab kar rahi ho?
Kuch din bad wo teacher bhi poschim dik mein presab karne laga.
Ladky: sir aaj to ap us tarah presab kar rahi hay.
Teacher: mein to mere lingo ghura dena parti hu. Keya tumhara vi ghurti hay?
3.
Teacher: ut pakhi ki kitn pa hai?
Student: sir, 3 ta.
Teacher: kachakachi hua, aur is lie tumko puroskrit kia jata hai.
4.
Teacher: pada raha hay shilpa,biplod etc.
Aur ek student bohut der so raha hay, ye dekh kar sir pucha
Teacher: kab se tum so raha ho?
Student: sir, jab se ap shilpa,biplob pada raha tha.
5.
Teacher:2+2 kitne hote hai?
student: five sir.
Teacher:gadha.
Student:sir mein key gadha hu,meri bap aur bada gadha hay.
6.
Ek teacher uski dust student ko matha kara raha tha
But uski student very chalu hai, magar padna nahi chahta hai
Teacher: bolo to rohan do kela aur do kela kitne hoti hai?
Rohan: sir….(thingking).
Sonia: vaia bolna math sikha raha hai…
7.
Teacher: tumhara bap ka na keya hai?
Student: sir, char option do to parunga.
8.
Teacher: tum ek gadha ho.
Student:yes
Teacher: tum ek insane ho
Student: no
Teacher:tum class ki bahar jao.
Student: very good sir.
9.
Teacher: ek candle jalane ke lie 1 kathi lage toh 20 candle kitne lagegi?
Student: ek hi lagegi.
Teacher: keyse?
Student: ek ko jala kar baki sab us candle se jalana parega.

10.
Teacher: ek admi 1kg chini lia 60 tk aur dokandar vul karke 100 tk ki not dia.
Ab bolo dokandar ki kitne loss hua?
Student: sir, wo jal not hai.
11.
Teacher: bolo chiner prachir kaun vanga hai?
Student: sir believe us, humne use hat vi nahi lagaya.

12.
Teacher:Ek gavi ne daily 7ltr dudh deti hay to 1 week mein kitni degi?
Student:42 litre.Friday holyday.

13.
Teacher:agle class me tumko “sami ki kabab” paraunga.
Ladki:kya sir, “Swami ki ovab”?

14.
Teacher: mein tumhare baap jaysa,koi problem pe ho to mujhko jarur bolna.
Ladki:sir aap to hamari Bap hai toh hamari Maa kaha hai?

15.

Teacher:Phool ki marma sabse kaun samajhta hai?
Student: Majra poka sir.
16.
Teacher: kisiko aab crorepati bolne par wo khusi nahi hota hai kiun?
Student: Dudok ki voi pa kar.
17.
Teacher:Bolo to Bush aur Laden ki keya irada hai?
Student: Aadmi ke bina dunia garne.
18.
Teacher:kaunsi jinis par hum log chalte waqt sun sakte hai?
Student: radio ke niche 4 chaka lagane par…
19.
Teache: Jib aur Jar bolkar keyaa samajhti ho?
Student: Jib hota hai jo chlne parta hai, jemon gari. Aur Jar wo hota hai jo chalna nahi prata hai, jomon tree.
20.
Teache: kaun bolna parega, prithibi ki weight kaya hai?
Student:no sir,magar India ki kitni wo meine bolna parunga.
Teacher: opodarth, India ki weight kaha par paya tune?
Student:sir, bara bara truck par likha tha “Samagra India 5 ton”.

21.
Teacher: bolo to satellite channel dekhne par keya kufal hai?
Student: sir maramari karna prabanata bar jati hai.
Teacher: wo kayse?
Student: sir meine jab vi satellite channel on kya hai meri dady mejhe mara tha.

22.
Teacher:boloto tum boro na tumhare baba boro?
Student:meine
Teacher:keyse?
Student:maine to abb sone ke waqt maa ki dudu nahi pita hu magar baba ab vi pita hai.

23.
Teacher:tumhare sahas to kam nahi hai,tum exam hall par durbin le kar ayaa.
Student: nahi sir meine to ye dekhne ke le ayea wo iss question par kyea answer likha.
24.

Teacher: ek student se, bolo to Canada kaha?
Student: sir, pice ki bench par.
25.
Teacher: bolo to kya khane par hamari aankhe ki dristi barta hai?
Student: ghas,lotapata ye khane par sir.
Teacher: keya mere sath yarki!!
Student: no sir, jara dhayan par dekho sir garu aur chagol ki ankho par keya aap chasme khayal kara?

26.
Student:exam ke liee tension ho rahi hai, magar meine kiyse exam me pass karunga?
Teacher: pass karne ke liee exam ke tension bad dena parega.
27.
Madam: ek gavi dudh dene ke baad kiun depressed hota hai.
Student: yedi koi apki boobs par hat lagati hai magar kuch nahi karta uske baad tab apne keyaa feel karoge?